


Mirror, Mirror on the wall

by Chiaki_Hamano



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: And yes it's sad, Angst, Don't Ask, Extreme angst, Human bill, I don't know what I'm doing, I think I like writing this more than fluff, I'm evil, Just read, M/M, and sad, but I know this is angst, muhahaha, weird AUs, yup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-30 08:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3930502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiaki_Hamano/pseuds/Chiaki_Hamano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe didn’t always exist as one entity. There was hundreds of them out there, some were peaceful and beautiful, some were wild. They were all different from each other. Some differences were just small details, the slightly difference in coordination, but some differences were bigger, it altered the entire universe, making it unique.  No matter how different one universe was from the other, there would always exist portals, disguising as normal every day things, tucked away in a far corner, forgotten. They were the windows that connected this universe from the next one. It was rumored that if one looked into these windows, they could see their other self, could communicate with them. There would always be a glass wall that separated one universe from the other to prevent both from collapsing. But perhaps, these portals brought two universes just a bit closer together. </p><p>There were also special people out there, people who could look beyond the ordinary look of a portal to see what it really was. To be able to realize the significance of a portal, to communicate with beings of other universes. They were the chosen ones.</p><p>Dipper Pines... was one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofreading by TheHylianBatman (Thanks a lot bruhhh)

 

 

The universe didn't always exist as one entity. There were hundreds of them out there; some were peaceful and beautiful, some were wild. They were all different from each other. Some differences were just small details,  slight  differences in coordination, but some differences were bigger; they altered the entire universe, making it unique.

 

No matter how different one universe was from the other, there would always exist portals, disguised as normal every day things, tucked away in a far corner, forgotten. They were the windows that connected this universe to the next one. It was rumored that if one looked into these windows, they could see their other self, could communicate with them. There would always be a glass wall that separated one universe from the other to prevent both from collapsing. But perhaps, these portals brought two universes just a bit closer together.

 

There were also special people out there, people who could look beyond the ordinary look of a portal to see what it really was. To be able to realize the significance of a portal, to communicate with beings of other universes. They were the chosen ones.

 

Dipper Pines... was one of them.

 

* * *

 

Dipper was just a boy from a normal background. There wasn't anything all too special with him, save for that spark of adventure that often led him and his twin sister Mabel Pines into deep trouble. He was a person whose nose was always buried deep in science books, learning about different phenomenons and theories. His family had long gotten used to his random bursts of things like "What if humans and dinosaurs existed in the same period of time?!". They brushed it off as him just being his normal, dorky self, and they would always have a good laugh together afterward.

 

Should they have  payed more attention to him and his conspiracy theories? Perhaps.

 

But did they pay attention to them? No... no they didn’t. At least, not enough.

 

The first time Dipper saw the mirror, it was in the attic, covered in dust and cobwebs. Dipper, who was merely a 7 year-old boy back then, had been searching for a peaceful, quiet place to do his research, and his first choice had been their family’s attic. Fate led him to the mirror, and fate guided him to brush his palm against the dirty surface, wiping the dust away.

 

Dipper jumped when he saw a face. It was different from his own, which was strange. The last time Dipper checked, he didn’t have blond hair or an eyepatch over his eye. He took a step back, warily. Okay, so perhaps this wasn't a mirror. Perhaps this was a weird picture of some creepy kid with blond hair and a fancy outfit.

 

Curiosity made him take a step closer as he peered into the picture.

 

It moved.

 

Dipper shrieked in fear, stumbling backward so fast that he fell on his ass. This room was haunted! This mirror had trapped a person! He squinted his eyes when, on the other side, the boy with blonde hair also let out a gasp of fear and took a few steps back. Dipper didn't actually hear the gasp, but the way his eye widened and his mouth opened in a small ‘o’ indicated that he had let out a sound. Then, he bravely moved forward. Dipper had to applaud his bravery. He was paralyzed with fear and couldn’t even stand up, let alone move again.

 

The person on the other side started wiping the mirror, but it wasn’t dirty on their side. It was dirty on Dipper’s side... Hence the image didn’t get clearer. A force, still unknown to Dipper, made him stand up, and he took a fearful step forward, causing the boy in the mirror to step back, as if he was being threatened. Dipper gently reached forward and wiped the mirror clean.

 

Now that the mirror was clean from both sides, Dipper could take a look at the boy. He opened his mouth. “Who are you? Why are you trapped in this mirror?” He asked loudly, feeling stupid as soon as the question left his mouth. What was he thinking? Talking to a ghost in a mirror? He should tell his parents about this.... But... adventures!

 

The ghost boy only gestured toward his ear and shook his head. Oh. He couldn’t hear what Dipper was saying. Dipper looked around, trying to find a way to communicate with a person that couldn’t hear him. He decided that his best action would be... writing it down! Brilliant! He was a genius! He found some crayons and a piece of paper, before he wrote down:

 

“I’m Dipper. What’s your name?”

 

In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t tell his name to a suspicious ghost in a mirror, but he was a kid! Cut him some slack. He held the piece of paper up, forgetting the fact that it was a mirror, and the other boy wouldn’t be able to read it. The blond boy’s eye squinted really hard but he got the message in the end, giving Dipper a thumbs-up. He looked around, trying to find something to tell his name.

 

He took out a 1 dollar bill.

 

“Your name is... Dollar?” Dipper wrote and Bill shook his head. No. Not Dollar. Dipper’s eyes narrowed. Not dollar... Probably not Money, either. “Um... Bill?” Dipper asked. Bill cracked a smile, being able to read the word with the way Dipper’s lips moved this time. He repeated. "Bill." Dipper smiled. Yes! He had a friend named Bill! He had to show him to his mom!

 

In his excitement, Dipper raced downstairs. “Mom! Mom! I found a friend in the mirror!” Dipper exclaimed, and his mother raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a bit old for imaginary friends?” she asked.

 

“It’s not an imaginary friend! He’s real! His name is Bill and he lives in a mirror!” He said, dragging his mother upstairs to the attic to show her...

 

An empty, normal mirror?

 

“Dipper, I’m preparing lunch. So if there isn’t anything important happening, don’t bother me. Don’t talk to your "friend" too much.” Dipper’s mother chimed, taking this as one of her son’s cute, dorky things. Dipper pouted when his mother left, and he looked at the mirror again. Was he going crazy? Dipper sulked, but then he perked up when he saw a figure running toward the mirror again. It was Bill!

 

"I left so I could get this." Bill wrote on the notebook, and raised it. Dipper huffed. But his mother could have seen him! He wanted to call her again, but then... she would just get annoyed. Dipper sat down on the floor, staring at the mirror. He raised his hand to touch the smooth glass. It felt just like any normal mirror.

 

Bill looked at the hand that was placed on the mirror, and he slowly raised his hand to place there as well. Dipper’s eyes widened. Warmth! He felt... warmth! Bill wasn’t a ghost! Ghosts didn’t have warmth... He was... What was he? Dipper’s young mind couldn’t possibly come up with a good enough theory, so he settled for just accepting it. Maybe he would read some more books later, and see if there were any theories about ghosts trapped inside mirrors.

 

Bill raised another note up.

 

"Do you want to be friends?"

 

Dipper stared at the words. His lips curled up. He didn’t have lots of friends because of his strange personality, so any new friends were welcomed. He nodded. Yes, let’s be friends.

 

And that started a long series of tears and happiness. Both for Bill and for Dipper.

 

* * *

 

It had been about 5 years since then, and Dipper was now a 12-year-old boy. Time did fly when he was enjoying himself. He had already learnt that Bill was from a completely different universe from him, a universe with strange technologies and creatures. Dipper felt so lucky, being one of the only people on Earth to know such a universe existed. Every day, they would talk to each other; they discussed about theories, they talked about their worlds and the creatures inhabitaing them, or just their days, . Sometimes, Bill would bring the mirror outside for a bit, just so Dipper could catch a glimpse of the beautiful exotic world that Bill lived in. And sometimes, Dipper would do the same.

 

He had also found out that Bill and he shared a lot of things in common, like their belief in magical creatures or their fascination in theories and their determination to push beyond their limits. Bill’s world had a different set of rules, rules that Dipper would love to discover and break. He wished that he could visit him for real. But the most they could do was touch the mirror together and feel each other’s warmth, to know that another universe existed and to know that they weren’t going insane.

 

As a result, Dipper had distanced himself from his family, spending most of his time locked away in the attic, talking to his friend Bill. He didn’t even notice how worried his family had become, especially when he always came downstairs for dinner with new tales about his "friend" Bill, and how he did this or that. It was safe to say his imagination had gone through the roof.... or so his parents believed. This couldn’t be good. “Dipper... How about you go hang out with your friends tomorrow?” His mother suggested worriedly, wondering if her son was in a depression or something among those lines.

 

“Um... Thanks, but... no thanks, Mom. I’m good.” Dipper said, shoving his food down his throat. He quickly finished his meal and cleaned up his plate. Bill and he were discussing some theories. Perhaps they could meet each other for real. He smiled happily at that thought, and quickly disappeared up to the attic, not noticing how his parents exchanged looks.

 

Dipper came to the mirror, only to see Bill changing his clothes. He blushed heavily, covering his face. Oh my God! Dipper’s eyes trailed up Bill’s well toned torso, and he turned away modestly. It wouldn’t be fair to call Bill out on this, he didn’t know when Dipper would come back. Dipper hid his face, but he still snuck glances until he saw that Bill was done.

 

"Oh, Dipper!" Bill said with a smile. Over the years, they had learned how to read lips, simply because writing it down was too troublesome. Dipper cracked a smile.

 

"Hey." He said back, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um... I saw you changing your clothes... And um... I noticed that they're a bit... torn. Are you... okay? Did someone hurt you?" Dipper asked worriedly.

 

Bill brushed it off. "Don’t worry. I told you... My family is in a bit of trouble with money, that’s all. I’ll survive." He said, and placed his hand on the mirror. Dipper smiled and did the same. He could feel their warmth passing through the mirror.

 

"Dipper. Don’t worry. Things will always get better." Bill said, and Dipper believed him. "I trust you." He said. Bill really was a wonderful person.

 

Across the room, beyond the door, two worried parents looked at each other again. They couldn’t hear what Bill said, so it sounded just like Dipper was talking alone, which was a very... worrying sign... perhaps they should take the mirror away soon.

 

* * *

 

But life didn’t get better for Bill. His family’s economy had gone downhill, until they were forced to sell their house, and Bill went from a fancy rich boy to having to work several jobs trying to support his family. Dipper got worried, but Bill always just brushed it off with a smile. Actually, seeing Dipper was the only bright spot of his day now. He would always crack a smile when he saw Dipper waiting for him.

 

It took another year for Bill to gather his courage up and ask Dipper out. It took Dipper 5 minutes flat to say yes, after he had blushed and stammered in pure embarrassment.

 

They had a short period of happy time together. Dipper would take Bill out for "dates" by showing him different pictures of different beautiful places, and they would talk and eat together. It was nothing fancy, but when you had something so vast as the distance between two universes, you would have to make due with what you had.

 

"Hey, Dipper..." Bill once asked. "Do you think this is... healthy? You and I? Our relationship?" He asked, when they were preparing to go to bed one night.

 

"Why would you think it isn’t healthy? What happened?" Dipper asked, afraid of the breakup.

 

"Because.... We can never be together, and I could never hold you or... kiss you. We will always be separated by this glass mirror. You have a life, and so do I... You can find someone else, someone you can hold. This is a dead end... We won’t be able to be together. Ever." Bill said seriously.

 

Dipper looked at him and sighed, placing a hand on the mirror to feel his warmth. "Look, I know we are a... strange couple, but I... can’t imagine myself being with anyone other than you. So we will never be together... so what? I love you all the same." He said, gently, beckoning Bill to lean his cheek closer. Dipper pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Don’t doubt. We will be able to get through this together, even if we have to stay single for the rest of our lives." He said.

 

* * *

 

Dipper was dreaming. He dreamed that Bill and he could meet for the first time. He raised his hand and shakily cupped Bill’s cheek before they hugged each other tightly.

 

“I have always wanted to have you in my arms...” He said softly, clinging to Bill. He never wanted to let him go. Ever. Again. “You are so warm. And soft. Just like how I imagined you would be.” He said softly, looking at Bill’s beautiful eyes. His heart began to sink when the Bill in his arms began to get colder, and then he was fading away.

 

“No! Don’t leave me! Hold me!” Dipper cried, and he awoke from his nightmares, staring at the mirror. On the other side, Bill was still sleeping, unaware of the sounds Dipper just made. Dipper raised a hand and touched the mirror.

 

“B-Bill... Help me...” He whispered, wanting Bill to wake up. But Bill never heard Dipper’s words. Dipper’s heart sank. He wrapped his arms around his knees and pulled them up to his chest, curling into a tight ball.

 

“B-Bill... W-wake up... help me...” His voice cracked as he felt his heart break. The reality was just too cruel. He wanted to be with Bill. He wanted to be with the man he loved, the childhood friend he had had since he was 7. He wanted Bill to wipe his eyes, to hold him, to kiss him...

 

Why?

 

Why did he feel so in love?... And yet...

 

So...

 

Alone?

 

* * *

 

Things dropped from bad to worse for their relationship when, one day, Dipper’s parents decided to break the mirror.

 

“No! Mom! Dad! No! Don’t break the mirror! PLEASE! Anything but the mirror! I’m begging you!” Dipper screamed, struggling in his sister’s hold as he tried to get to the mirror. No! No no no no no no no! Nononononono!!! BILL! Bill didn’t know! Bill wasn’t there! This was his only connection with Bill! His parents couldn’t destroy it!

 

“Please! I will study harder! I will make you proud! Please just don’t break the mirror... Please...” Dipper cried, but his parents, even in pain from seeing their child’s tears, had to stay firm. Dipper was going crazy from this mirror, and... it had to be done.

 

Dipper's dad swung the hammer straight at the mirror, and it shattered into hundreds of pieces. So did Dipper’s heart. He fell to his knees.

 

“No...” He whispered, crawling toward the shattered pieces as his sister let him go. “No... What have you done...?” Dipper said softly, looking at his parents as he bowed his head; his mouth was open, but there was no sound escaping. He was too hurt to scream. His sobs were stuck in his throat now, and, even as he tried to cry, the sounds just got stuck down in his throat. Everything hurt... Why? Why did it have to come to this? He didn’t do anything wrong... Oh God... Bill...

 

He let out a soft, broken sound before his shoulders shook and tears escaped, falling on the floor. Bill...

 

Bill...

 

Save me...

 

After everything was cleaned up, everyone left Dipper alone for a bit. The broken teenager sat there, lifeless. He looked at the wall where the mirror once stood. Bill would come home any second now... What would he see? Dipper choked back a sob. He was so tired... He just wanted to be in his lover’s arms.

 

Something sparkled beneath the bed. It took Dipper’s attention, and he carefully crawled closer to it. It was a piece of the mirror! A tiny, palm-sized piece, but it was there! Dipper wanted to cry again! But this time in happiness...

 

That night, he and Bill had a long talk. They decided that they couldn't talk to each other as often; it would risk the last piece being taken away from them. So now, all they had was their touches. Dipper kept the piece close to him- in his pocket- and he would always touch it, feeling the reassuring warmth of his lover’s hand, like Bill was holding his hand. It made his days a bit easier.

 

It made everything hurt a little bit less.

 

* * *

 

Then, Bill came home covered in blood and bruises. Dipper asked why. Bill just smiled and said it was nothing. It was nothing to worry about. But Dipper knew better. They wanted the money that Bill didn’t have. Dipper would look at his lover every night as he bandaged himself, wishing that he could just hug him and kiss his injuries better... Every day, Bill would come back a bit more exhausted, a bit more injured... And Dipper would have to helplessly watch it happen...

 

Even so, their lives carried on. They still kept close contact; the soothing warmth was the only medicine that kept Dipper from going insane.

 

Until one night, Dipper woke up from a nightmare.

 

He took out his piece of mirror, trying to look at Bill for some comfort.

 

He saw only a red color covering the entire mirror.

 

The color of blood.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personal thank you to my Fluff Squad and TheHylianBatman

 

Far away existed a unique universe. It was a strange world of steam machines and odd creatures, of things from nightmares. At night, when people looked outside and saw the shadows, the shadows gazed back. When a child was sleeping,  the shadow crept near and poked their head through the window to stare at the sleeping child, the beast’s claws hovering above them. It was an exotic universe. Beautiful, mysterious, wild and utterly thrilling.

 

In such a universe, there was no question why its people were also so beautiful and unique.

 

* * *

 

Bill Cipher was a kid coming from a rich family, with a pair of busy parents. His earliest memory would always be his father coming home late from work, and his mother quickly unshering him to his office with a tray of food so he could do even more work. He remembered sad moments of locking himself in the big library, reading his life away.  He remembered watching his parents argue with each other from afar.

 

Even so, Bill’s life wasn’t always so miserable. Beneath the dull reality, he remembered flashes of happiness, bright and beautiful. It painted colors into Bill’s dull world of rusty machines, of oil and smoke. At nights, Bill thought of the times his father came home with toys or treats. Of the times when he would play with Bill. And he thought of the bedtime stories his mother would sometimes tell him. But above all of the mundane memories, there was a special one.

 

The memory of the mirror.

 

Bill didn’t know how old the mirror was. His caretaker jokingly told him that this mirror must be as old as the universe itself. Bill believed her, though. The beautiful engravings decorating the mirror were unique. He would find himself staring at the mirror, wondering if he could see something else besides his own reflection. But the mirror was always so dull, even when little Bill spent hours scrubbing it. Even so, the design of the mirror always caught Bill’s attention. He lost counts of the time he traced the smooth surface, smiling at how pretty the thing was.

 

Until one day. The day he made friends with a strange, strange boy from another world. He was 8, then; still too young to wear a mature and solemn expression. He was staring at the mirror, at usual, wanting to see a sign. Perhaps this mirror was magical? Bill always held onto that thought. He wanted to think that magic existed. If it did, then he could finally use it to make his parents pay attention to him. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate joy of an 8 year old boy?

 

The first light that shone through the mirror was unusual. Bill had never seen such bright lights before. Such beautiful light. Was that… sunlight? He squinted his eyes and looked close. His heart skipped a beat. There was a hand that was scrubbing the mirror… Even though Bill’s hands were still at his side the last time he checked. He stood still, his heart hammering in his chest. He held his breath when a pair of dark brown eyes looked at him. He locked his gaze with them. Then, his hand moved to scrub the mirror instinctively.

 

The owner of the brown eyes must have run somewhere or something because the brown eyes disappeared. Bill was frustrated. He was this close to knowing the truth about this mirror! He scrubbed the mirror harder, but he stopped when the brown eyes came back. And then the eyes came closer. Bill took a step back. Maybe this creature was hostile? He watched as a hand began to wipe the mirror… In a matter of minutes, Bill had to shield his eyes from the blinding light of the sun.

 

He looked at the person in the mirror and gasped. He was a boy, perhaps around the same age with Bill; his brown hair was messy and he also looked very, very surprised. The boy said something. Weird… Bill couldn’t hear him. He pointed toward his ear and shook his head. No, he couldn’t hear what the other boy was saying. The boy ran away and then came back a few minutes later, holding up a piece of paper and crayon before he wrote.

 

"I’m Dipper. What’s your name?"

 

It was too bad… Bill couldn’t read it. The mirror flipped the image backward. He squinted his eyes and tried to rearrange the words. "Dipper"… This person’s name was Dipper. Like the stars. Bill smiled. What a pretty name. He couldn’t possibly be a ghost, though. A ghost wouldn’t be able to live in such a place where the sun shone so beautifully. Bill wanted to communicate, too. He wanted to say his name, but...  he was afraid that if he left, then he would never be able to meet the boy in the mirror again. Bill looked in his pocket. Ah! Money! He held out the bill.

 

"Your name is Dollar?"

Bill read the paper and shook his head. He watched the train of thoughts that ran through Dipper’s head. Until he settled for… "Bill?" This time, Bill could read his lips. “Yes” Bill said as he nodded. They both smiled. Bill’s smile widened when he saw Dipper’s front tooth was missing. Cute. He pouted when Dipper got all excited and left again. Okay, he needed to find his own way to communicate. He ran to his father’s study and knocked over his things, trying to find paper and pen, ignoring his father’s crys of, "Hey, Bill!" as he ran back to the mirror.

 

He saw Dipper already there, pouting. His hand was touching the mirror. Bill looked at his hand and slowly raised it to place it on the mirror as well. It was their first contact ever. The warmth of Dipper’s fingers spread and it touched Bill’s heart. Dipper’s hand was also smaller than Bill’s; Bill’s fingers could have easily wrapped around Dipper’s. Bill’s eye lit up with joy. He met someone else new! Someone from a world with bright sunlight! He was so excited! In his excitement, Bill didn’t ask why Dipper seemed to be upset. He could only explain what he did by raising the paper and the pen and a few words. Bill looked at Dipper and then at the paper, wondering what he should say to him. He wanted to be friends. So that was what he asked.

 

"Do you want to be my friend?"

 

Bill wrote and showed Dipper the note. A beat of silence passed before Dipper nodded.

 

"Yes."

 

Bill’s world was painted a beautiful color now. It seemed to light up with Dipper’s sunlight. Just like how Bill was Dipper’s breath of fresh air. They laughed. Bill grinned cheekily when Dipper’s lips parted to show the missing tooth again. Dipper really was a cute kid. And he was now Bill’s friend! They could hang out and Bill could tell everything he knew about his world!

 

* * *

 

 

Bill remembered the first time he cried for someone, as well. It was when he was 9. Dipper was being bullied at school. He never complained, though; Bill knew better than that. Dipper was hurt. He was hurt because he was an outcast, simply because he was different. Bill watched the time as Dipper came home, with bruised lips and a black eye. He looked at Bill and cracked a weak smile.

 

"Bill."

 

They were learning how to communicate through their lip's motion, because they realized writing all the time was really not the best way. Bill asked hesitantly, "Did they bully you again?"

 

Dipper didn’t say a word as he placed the bag down and opened it. He took out a small notebook. Bill recognized it immediately: it was the book that Dipper always showed him. He noted down all the strange things that happened. Like the time he believed he saw this creature "Big Foot". Or the time he believed he saw a "vampire". The notebook was torn… Dipper’s face fell when he realized he could only save a very few pages of his notebook.

 

Before Bill knew it, a sob had already been torn from his throat, and tears ran down his face. He hid his face in his hands as he sobbed. He didn’t even know why he was crying. He wasn’t hurt. He wasn’t in pain, but... he felt so sad for Dipper. He felt so, so sad for him. He genuinely felt sorry for his friend. Sobs escaped his throat as his body trembled with each sound, and his shoulders shook. When he looked up, Dipper was there, placing a hand on the mirror.

 

"Why are you crying? Are you hurt?"

 

Dipper asked as he teared up as well, worried about his friend. Bill shook his head.

 

"N-No…"

 

He stammered. Dipper could barely understand the words. He frowned worriedly. "Then why are you crying?" He asked. Bill took out a handkerchief and wiped his eyes.

 

"I feel… I feel… I feel sa-sad for you…" he said, and cried again, his hand placed at the end of the mirror, the tips barely touching. Dipper smiled as a few tears escaped his eyes as well. Bill was crying for Dipper, even though he was the one that was bullied. He placed a hand on top of Bill’s, trying his hardest to comfort the crying boy. But Bill was not stopping anytime soon. He babbled out words that Dipper could not even understand.

 

"I-I want to protect you… I want to be a good friend… I do-don’t like *hiccups* I don’t like seeing you get hurt… I don’t like *hiccups* I don’t like it…"

 

Bill babbled on and on about how he was sorry. It took a while before he could finally calm down enough. He leaned his entire body against the mirror, occasional hiccups escaped his lips. "I’m tired…" He said, feeling silly for bawling his eyes out in front of Dipper. Dipper giggled, covering his mouth to hide his laugh, even if Bill couldn’t see it.

 

"You cried a lot. Rest." He said, looking at Bill. Bill could spot the slight redness at the edge of Dipper's eyes as well. Dipper had been crying with him, though not as much. The pair fell silent, leaning against the mirror to feel the warmth of each other, Bill fell asleep from exhaustion after awhile. All that remained in his memory was the constant warmth of Dipper by his side that entire night.

 

* * *

 

The first time they fought was when Bill was 10. It was because of a stupid reason, too: Bill treasured this mirror above all. He had even moved it to his room so he could talk to Dipper easier. Guess what? One day, he woke up to a scribble on the mirror. On Dipper’s side. That upset Bill greatly. So he showed how upset he was.

 

"Why did you draw on the mirror?! Don’t you know this is important to me? To us?!" Bill asked the moment Dipper woke up.

 

"I did not draw on it!" Dipper protested, but his eyes already told Bill that he knew who did. Or maybe… It was Dipper himself who did it. He didn’t know for sure, but... he was hurt.

 

"Well if it isn’t you then who was it?!"

"I don’t know!"

"Liar!"

"Jerk!"

 

Bill was mad. He treasured this mirror a lot! How could Dipper do this? Now, looking back, Bill realized he had been childish and unreasonable. But he was merely a boy at that point, immature and impulsive. So he tried to punish Dipper. Bill punched the mirror. It cracked but thankfully, didn’t break.

 

Bill watched as Dipper stared at the cracked mirror. He stomped his foot, trying his hardest not to punch the mirror as well. Bill really had been stupid. "YOU ARE A JERK!" Dipper screamed, and Bill could practically hear his voice. He took a step back when Dipper’s face got red and the corners of his eyes got shiny with tears before the younger boy bolted out of the room.

 

"No! No, wait! Don’t leave!" Bill cried, the realization hitting him like a brick wall. He didn’t mean to hurt Dipper. He was just hurt because of how Dipper disrespected the mirror… He didn’t do anything that day; he merely stood there at the mirror’s side, waiting for Dipper to come back.

 

He never did.

 

The morning after that, Bill woke up to a squeaky clean mirror, but still no Dipper. He was beginning to get worried. He didn’t make Dipper mad that much... right? He just… He disrespected the mirror… too… Oh god… Bill’s heart was filled with guilt, his hand clenched into a fist. He wrote a message and taped it on the mirror.

 

"I’m sorry. I was stupid. Please don’t be mad any more…"

 

Even with the message, it took Dipper another week to forgive Bill… And the day after that, when Dipper suddenly stood in front of the Mirror, Bill’s heart swelled with joy. He wrapped his arms around the mirror. But then he realized it was just a mirror. He began to babble. "I’m sorry. I was being a real jerk." He said and Dipper laughed softly at Bill’s silly action.

 

"Yes, you were. Don’t be such an idiot again…" He said, and Bill raised his hand. "Cross my heart." It was a phase in Dipper’s world that he had taught Bill.

 

Dipper smiled, and pressed a kiss to the mirror. It left a mark. "Alright, fine. How about we talk about the newest thing I just discovered?" He asked. Bill beamed up. Yes! Dipper wasn’t mad at him anymore!!! Bill was stupidly giddy at this.

 

"Okay!" 

 

* * *

 

 

Not everything went so smoothly in Bill’s life, though… Or perhaps it should it be not many things in Bill’s life went smoothly. His parents were caught red-handed when they cheated the system for more money… They were executed and their property was taken away. Bill, from a rich boy, suddenly became a poor person who had to struggle to earn money to even eat.

 

It happened when Dipper was at school. The repossession people came and they began to take everything away. Even the mirror. “No! Anything but the mirror, please!” Bill cried as he held onto the mirror for dear life. “I won’t let you have this mirror!” He said, hiding the mirror behind him protectively. “Kid, it’s just a mirror. You aren’t rich anymore. No one is going to respect you. Or your money. Or your name. So grow up and give me this mirror. Go earn your own money.” One of the men said, annoyed by Bill’s stubbornness; as he tried to grab the mirror again, Bill just pulled it back even more.

 

“No!”

 

The defiant word earned a slap to Bill’s face as the guy’s meaty hand smacked the scrawny boy to the floor. Bill hugged the mirror to his chest to protect it. He checked the precious thing first, ignoring his injury. Oh, thank God: it was okay. He groaned, pain rushing to him. Ouch. His side hurt. His face hurt, too…

 

“I-I will earn enough money to buy this mirror. Please let me keep the mirror. I will work 2 jobs. I can pay you back in no time.” Bill said, keeping the mirror out of the guy’s reach. The guy smirked smugly. This mirror was cheap as fuck. Sure, some pretty designs, but who cared anyway? He had just found himself a new source of income.

 

“Oh, but this mirror is so expensive I doubt you have the money to pay it.” He said casually. Bill frowned stubbornly. He would keep this mirror no matter what, even if he was dirt poor.

 

“How much is it?” he asked, and The Man leaned down, whispering in Bill’s ear. “You have to pay me $1000 a month for five years. If you can't pay, then I will take the mirror away.” He said, and Bill paled. He was just a kid! How could he get that much in a month?! And why did this mirror cost so much?

 

“Take it or leave it, brat.” The Man said, and went for the mirror again. Bill gasped. “Alright! Alright, fine! Fine. I will pay you $1000 a month. But... w-what if I can’t find that much in a month? Can I be late for a payment…?” He asked, and The Man snarled.

 

“Listen up, you brat, I was being merciful. I'm supposed to take everything from this rotten family. I don’t care if you have to whore yourself in the alleyway to get money. If you are late, I will come and take your fucking mirror away!” He said, giving Bill a kick as the boy shielded the mirror again. Bill could feel tears form from the pain…

 

And from shame, too.

 

How was he going to find that much money in such a short time?

 

The Man left him alone after that. Bill sat up slowly. Everything hurt… He bowed his head in defeat, staring at the empty mirror. He didn’t cry; he merely stared at the mirror. His eyes stung. His body hurt. His heart hurt. He felt like he had just been shamed. He didn’t like this feeling… The feeling of helplessness…

 

“Mom…. Dad… How could you do this to us…?” Bill whispered, his heart ached for the simple dull life that he had…

 

He wanted to talk to Dipper. Badly.

 

Dipper could cheer him up.  The sunshine of his dark day…

 

* * *

 

After that, everything was a struggle for Bill. He had to juggle three jobs at once. He was a kid. Nobody wanted to hire a kid. He had to work whatever jobs people ditched out. Sometimes, he was a waiter. People liked little boys. Sometimes, he worked labor jobs. People were hesitant to make him do it, since he was so small, but hey, he was cheap, so whatever. It wasn’t their business to care. Most of the time, however, Bill was a thief. He had to learn how to pick pockets. It filled him with shame whenever he used the money. He was a noble boy… How could he be reduced to this?

 

On good days, if people didn’t find out, then Bill could buy more food or other things… On bad days, when he felt sick or people saw him pick-pocket, they would gang up and beat him. The little rat of the two rotten parents… He never cried, but the searing pain that his heart felt was worse than any tears…

 

Still…  He needed to eat. He had to learn how to live with shame. Bill’s days passed by with the constant feeling of shame and the weariness of working so much weighing heavily on his shoulders…. It didn’t help that he had to find a really large sum amount of money  to pay at the end of every month… If he didn’t have it, then The Man would come to his place and trash it, then either try to take his mirror away or just beat Bill up for his sick thrills.

 

The only good thing was that he wasn’t interested in males, let alone little boys.

 

* * *

 

It took a while for Bill and Dipper to become a couple, mainly because both of them were too shy. In the end, it was Bill who asked first, stammering and stuttering so badly that he had to grab pen and paper to write down the words. It took Dipper a whole five minutes to answer, also stammering and blushing like crazy. It was a happy day for both of them.

 

Sex came much later, a year after that actually. They were both too awkward about the subject. They could not physically touch each other, how were they going to have sex if they couldn’t even… touch?! Dipper was actually the one with the solution this time. They would jerk off with each other… Yeah, that was a sound solution. The day that happened, both of them was stammering messes that had to resort into using papers to communicate again…

 

The sex turned out okay, though; better than expected, actually, and they were both happy for it… Bill laughed breathlessly as he leaned his forehead against the mirror. "Oh God… That’s… that’s so strange…" He said as he laughed. Dipper returned the laugh with his own. "Yeah… But good, right?" He asked, his finger tracing the outline of Bill’s face in the mirror. Bill smiled.

 

"Strange but good… yes." He whispered, his cheeks were still flushed. He looked at Dipper, his eyes were filled with love. Dipper smiled. “Bill… I know this is tough, but… I trust that we can do this. This relationship isn’t easy, but... I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else other than you." He said softly, his hand searching for Bill’s hand for the comforting warmth. Bill smiled back. "I love you. You are the only reason I ever smile…" He said. Their foreheads touched briefly. Bill wished he could touch Dipper for real. He would sell his soul to the Devil if it meant he could be with this amazing man.

 

Their lips touched the mirror. It had been strange at first, but... when had their relationship ever been normal?

 

Bill smiled as he picked up his clothes. Dipper gave him hope… He really did.

 

"My sunshine…" He whispered, knowing that Dipper couldn't see the way his lips moved.

 

But they were connected on a whole other level at this point, and the small, whispered words caused Dipper to smile. "My breath of fresh air…" He said back, and they exchanged a look that spoke more than anything they had ever said to each other.

 

Things got bad on Bill’s end. Money got harder to earn, and The Man got crueler in his way of destroying Bill’s things. Bill didn’t want to lose hope, but his will wasn’t the strongest… He was afraid that one day his mirror would be taken away from him, and Dipper would never know what happened. On top of that, Bill was stressed, too… He kept having nightmares. He was under stress constantly, fearing the possibility that people would find out that he pickpocketed, that he stole. He got beaten and always came home with cuts and bruises. He always smiled when he saw Dipper, though.

 

"I’m okay." Bill would always reply. He couldn’t say that; it hurt to even do anything. He was just thankful that Dipper didn’t push… One day, Bill would explain what happened, but, for now, he would lie. For the sake of his health and his sanity…

 

Everything was stressful for Bill. So, one day, when he and Dipper were talking, Bill uttered. "Dipper… What if our relationship isn’t working out? What if we are just setting ourselves up for heartbreak?" He asked, finally speaking out his doubts.

 

Dipper stopped as he frowned. "Bill…" He said, capturing his love’s attention. He swallowed. "I told you before… I will never ever trade you for anything. Not this world, nor the universe. You may not be able to touch me or hug me or kiss me… But you have a part of me that no one else has, that no one else will ever have." He said, smiling. Bill frowned. "What is it?" He didn’t know what he had of Dipper…

 

"My heart." Dipper said and Bill paused. He laughed. "Oh, Dipper, you are so cheesy…" He said, amusement danced in his eyes. Dipper blushed. But it was true, though! Before he could embarrass him too badly, Bill stopped and smiled. "I know. And you have mine." He said. Perhaps they could overcome this hardship, after all. At least they still could look at each other and talk everyday.

 

* * *

 

One day, Bill woke up to see his Dipper with red-rimmed eyes. "Dipper… Did you cry…?" Bill asked worriedly, wondering what happened. He wished that they could hear each other’s voice. Then, at least Bill would wake up if Dipper had nightmares and vice versa…

 

"Nuh-uh. Sand just got in my eyes, that’s all. I’m okay now." He said, lying through his teeth. Bill would've snorted, but he successfully refrained it and instead adopted a look that said I know you are lying but I can’t prove it. "The next time sand gets into your eyes, come close so I can wipe it away." He said, making Dipper crack a smile. Bill was always a sweet guy.

 

Then came a day when Bill came home, tired, only to see something horrible had happened to his mirror… To their mirror. His mirror was intact, but Dipper’s sides appeared to be in fragments… They were everywhere. Bill spotted black and green and even a piece that looked like it was floating on water. "What happened?!" He panicked, thinking that something was wrong…

 

His only answer was a crying Dipper. The story came out after that… Bill’s eyes were filled with sorrow. Of course Dipper’s parents would think he was going insane… Bill had no parents. He didn’t have anyone to worry about him, but Dipper was in a completely different situation. He tried to calm the hysterical boy down, and began to talk to him. In the end, they couldn’t talk a lot anymore… Bill, with some serious pick-pocketing skills at this point, had stolen a diamond knife. He pulled it out of his pocket and began to carve the space around Dipper's fragment until he had an exact copy of it. Bill put the fragment in his pocket carefully. At least now he only had one fragment to worry about.

 

* * *

 

The fact that Bill cut the mirror was well hidden for a few months. He tried his best never to be a single minute late to give the money to The Man, making sure that nothing was out of ordinary; if he discovered Bill had broken the mirror, Bill was as good as dead. He was bigger, meatier, and Bill was scrawny from the lack of food…

 

Even so, his hope was short lived because he was sick. He couldn’t give the money back in time, and that resulted in The Man coming to his house. After years of being tormented physically and emotionally, Bill still didn’t know his name… He could only call him "The Man"… Well… The Man was not happy. He was pissed. Actually, he was beyond pissed.  The Man was livid at Bill’s act of cutting the mirror. He actually beat Bill brutally after he found that out. “You! Fucking! Piece! Of! Shit!” He growled, kicking Bill with each word. “Why the fuck would you cut the mirror, you lil' shit?! How can I sell it now?! Your debt just got doubled!” He growled, kicking Bill’s stomach while the teenager curled up in pain, his hand gripping the fragment tightly. No. He shall not let anyone have this. The sharp edge of the mirror cut into Bill’s hand, but he barely registered the pain, trying very hard to protect the piece of him and Dipper. This was the last piece… He could not…

“Fuck you…” Bill whimpered, tears rolled down his face. He would not let anyone touch it. He could not. He had to protect this. This was his happiness. The meaty guy kicked Bill’s face. “Fuck me? Fuck me?! No, fuck you, kid! I'll show you fuck!” He growled, grabbing a handful of Bill’s blonde hair and slamming him against the wall. “This is fucked!” He snapped.

 

“If you don’t have $10,000 by tomorrow, I will kill you, you fucking piece of utter shit!” He snapped, stepping on Bill’s hand. He smirked in satisfaction as he heard Bill’s bone crack and break. He kicked him one last time and walked out of the dirty dump that was Bill’s "house".

 

Bill didn’t move from that position for a long time, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Oh, God, where was he going to find that much money? He was dead…. Bill knew The Man's threat was serious this time. How was he ever going to find that much in a day? Bill took out the mirror, and he gingerly wiped the red blood away. Thank God Dipper hadn’t come home from school to see Bill’s pathetic state yet… He held the mirror fragment to his heart.

 

Perhaps tomorrow would be the end to it all… The end to Bill’s suffering. The end of their relationship… The end that Bill had foreseen.

 

“This relationship has been a dead end since the start, huh?” Bill whispered to himself. He paused. Did he… Did he just make a pun? Bill laughed. He just made a pun! Hahahahaha that was so funny!

 

Bill cackled loudly; his body shook with with the force of his laugh. He didn’t even know why he was laughing. This wasn’t so funny. “Hahahaha….” Bill laughed as tears began to stream down his cheeks and he choked back the sobs. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave Dipper. He didn’t want to end everything. He wanted to grow old with Dipper. He wanted to have children. They would adopt. He would adopt a boy and Dipper would adopt a girl. Then they could be together. And they could talk to each other. They would be the most dysfunctional family in the world, but they would be a family nonetheless.

 

“D-Dipper… I don’t want to die…” Bill sobbed, heavy tears still flowed freely down Bill’s face. “I don’t want to die… I am scared of death… I don’t want to leave you… We're going to start a family, right? You'll adopt a girl and name her... Katrina, and I'll adopt a boy and... name him Dexter. And then we can take the children to the park together… And we can be a family… Please answer me…” Bill cried, slamming his hand down the dirt, still not getting up.

“I want to start a family with you, Dip-Dipper…” Bill whispered in defeat, teardrops dripped down from his cheeks and fell on the mirror shard. So much for a happy ending…

That night… Bill did everything he could not to cry and confess. Instead he still bid Dipper good bye and he even pressed a kiss to Dipper’s cheek and lip. They had their weird form of mirror sex… Dipper tried to press but Bill didn’t say a word. He could never let Dipper know what would happen tomorrow… Maybe Dipper would think he had abandoned him and then he would move on to someone in the real world… Someone that he could hold…

 

_Someone that wasn’t Bill, trouble incarnate…_

 

The day after that, Bill only managed to get over $1000, and that was a miracle in and of itself. He tried so hard… But he couldn’t get that much in one day. Bill sat in his room, watching the clock tick by… The time was close… Bill’s heart ached with a pain that he had not felt for years now…

 

“Good night, Dipper. I love you.” Bill whispered the usual farewell and he stayed up watching until Dipper fell asleep…

 

The door snapped open.

 

“Where’s my money?!” The Man demanded the moment he stepped through. Bill hurriedly grabbed the money he had worked so hard for. “I-I could only manage this much in such a short time… Please give me just a bit more time. I promise I will have more… I promise. Please just give me a bit more…” He begged.

 

“NO! $1000 is not enough!” He snapped and started the usual beating with a slap to Bill’s swollen cheek, shoving his head down on the ground. “You worthless pile of shit! You are the most useless person in this fucking world! No wonder no one loves you!” He laughed cruelly. Bill gasped out.

 

“Liar… I have someone… That loves me dearly…” He said weakly, his hand was still injured from yesterday…

 

“Oh yeah? Is that why you live in a dump and eat trash for breakfast? Listen up you little shit, even your parents didn’t love you. No one loves you.” He said and laughed. The Man said he knew someone important higher up and he had friends everywhere… Bill couldn’t run, even if he wanted to… Well, no one would miss a rat if he killed him off, anyway. The Man grabbed a random piece of mirror. “Do you know what this is? Do you?! This is a piece of your precious mirror. I’m going to kill you with this. You won’t be missed!” He laughed, and started cutting at Bill’s body.

 

Bill screamed. “HELP! DIPPER! DIPPER, PLEASE! WAKE UP! DIPPER, SAVE MEEE!!!” He cried, writhing in pain, but The Man had held him down. He beat and abused Bill’s broken body. “Shut up before you draw attention, you shit!” He growled, jamming the mirror shard into Bill’s eye as Bill shrieked in pain but his mouth was covered. He didn’t want to die!

 

The physical torment of his body probably lasted for a while; he wasn't sure. He lost his sense of time when he lost too much blood… Finally, The Man pulled away. “I’m going to let you bleed to death. You waste my time.” He said, with a huff, taking everything that was valuable in Bill’s home before he left; but not without shooting a "Oh, and by the way, kid, I lied. That mirror probably would have sold for like… $10. You wasted your entire life for a piece of trash."

 

Bill lied still in pain. He was dying, and he knew it. Bill slowly pulled the mirror shard from his pocket and looked at it with a small smile. “Hey, Dipdop…” Bill said affectionately, his voice weak. His eyes were filled with love as he watched Dipper sleeping peacefully. “I guess… You never did hear me scream your name… Huh?” He asked softly. Maybe it was for the best; that way, he would never be traumatized by the torture that The Man had put Bill through…

 

“I know… You can’t hear me… But… Take care of yourself… It’s… It’s winter there… I think… Remember to wear jackets… Play sports, too… So you can grow big and strong… You should move on… Without me there… Don’t spend your time indoors… so much…. Look after your family, too… They do care… I’m sorry I can’t say this sooner… I’m sorry I didn’t say any of this… I just… I just want to spare you the pain…” He said softly, his throat clogging with emotions as tears escaped again. God, he was so emotional lately…

 

“I guess… My time is up now… I… I love you, Dipper… You are the sunshine in my life… But I guess… For me, it’s time the sun set…” He said, thinking hard before he covered the mirror with his hand. This way, Dipper would never see him. He would never have to see Bill in this pathetic form… And Bill could touch him one last time. Bill’s eyes became unfocused as the first ray of sunlight hit his face and he turned away slightly.

“Dipper… You came for me?” He asked, raising his hand up shakily.

 

“Take my hand…” He whispered.

 

Then, the sweet relief of darkness numbed Bill’s pain, and he slipped into an eternal, dreamless sleep. 

 

* * *

 

 

  _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy when skies are gray_

_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

  

* * *

 

 

 

 Proofreading by [TheHylianBatman](http://www.thehylianbatman.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, you may scream "I WILL FUCKING KILL THAT GUY."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal thanks to my Fluff Squad and to TheHylianBatman. 
> 
> Also, if I call the first two chapters of this story 'beautifully painful' then I shall call this one 'painfully beautiful'. SO DON'T COME PREPARE

 

Dipper didn’t come out of his room for a week after that. He stayed right there, spending the day just looking at the mirror; his tears had long dried, and now, he just had a dead and defeated expression on his face. He tiredly laid his head on his working desk, staring at the mirror shard. “Bill… Please talk to me…” He whispered hoarsly, tracing the edge of the mirror lovingly. He felt his eyes well up again. He thought he had run out of tears. Apparently, he had not.

 

A small tear rolled down his face and fell on the smooth surface of the glass. “Bill… Come back to me… Where are you? What happened?” He asked, choking back a sob as it was violently ripped from his throat. “B-Bill… Why don’t you say anything? Speak up…” He said as he began to cry. Gosh, he felt pathetic. Weak and pathetic. His body was lacking in the nutrition and sleep that it needed… But Dipper couldn’t sleep… He didn’t want to have nightmares of Bill being dead or leaving his side… He couldn’t even eat without throwing up…

 

Dipper’s tears continued to flow; each clear droplet dribbled down his cheek and fell. He felt miserable. He needed Bill. Now. He needed him badly… “B-Bill… I-If you don’t… If you don’t com-come back… R-Right now… I will… I will hurt myself… I will hurt myself…” He said, his voice choking up just a bit as he held the mirror shard on his wrist. Dipper cut his palm and watched as the blood stained the edge of the mirror. “I-I said… C-Come back right now… B-Bill… Stop me… Please… Stop me from doing this… Bill... you care… Bill, please come and stop me…”

 

Dipper called Bill’s name. His hands got shaky. His heart felt like it was being squeezed, and everything hurt so badly that the pain on his palm didn’t even _register_ in his mind. He just wanted his lover to appear again. He was going to stupid lengths to get him to notice Dipper… If Bill still cared, then he would have stopped Dipper… If he still cared, then he would show up and scold Dipper for being stupid…

 

_If he still cared…_

_If he was still alive…_

 

The door of his room got unlocked and Dipper vaguely heard the sound of something shattering on the floor. He turned around weakly. “Mabel…?” He whispered, his eyes took a good look at his twin sister before he turned back. “Go away…” He said, not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. He didn’t even want to crawl out of the misery hole that he was in.

 

Mabel scowled angrily and stepped toward Dipper, taking his hand. “Oh my God, Dipper! Why did you hurt yourself?!” She exclaimed, a mixture of anger and sadness. Dipper snatched his hand back and cradled it close to his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it…” He said moodily, wiping his tears away hastily.

 

Mabel looked at him with an unreadable look for a moment before she sighed and sat down on a nearby chair. “It’s about that mirror, isn’t it?” She asked, frowning. Dipper was way too obsessed with it. And whoever that he claimed was on the other side of the mirror… She sighed. “Alright, fine, listen to me.” She said, taking Dipper’s hand gently and pointed toward the cut.

 

“If… If there was such a guy named Bill who lives on the other side of the mirror-“

 

“There is though! He-“

 

“Don’t interrupt me, Dipper. If there were a guy like that, and if he... loved you that much, do you think he would want you to die? Do you think he would want you to harm yourself or wallow in self-pity? Stand up, Dipper. Look at the outside world. Look at what you are missing. Be strong! Be the person that he would be proud of! Make theories. Be you again! Did he fall in love with a depressed boy? Or did he fall in love with the one that makes him smile?” she asked as she stared at Dipper hard and smacked his head upside down. “I’m going out to get you a new tray of food. And some bandages, too. Think about what I said.” She said. Oh. She had been trying to feed him for the last few days now… Dipper watched as Mabel left and stared at his hands. Was he really that bad? It hurt too much to move on, though. He didn’t want to move on… He wanted to keep Bill’s memories… He didn’t want to believe that Bill was dead…

 

Maybe Bill wasn’t even dead…

 

Dipper closed his eyes. Mabel was right, though. Bill wouldn’t want him to be like this… Bill would want him to be happy. Dipper wasn’t going to let go of Bill’s memories, but... he wasn’t going to be sad all the time… He couldn’t… He wanted to live for Bill, too. Dipper covered his face with his hands. “Oh Bill…” Dipper whispered...

 

This wouldn’t be an easy thing to heal from… Dipper wasn’t going to suddenly get better after Mabel’s talk… But it was a start. Bill might still be alive somewhere. Dipper just had to wait for him. One day, the mirror would shine again. And his lover would talk to him again.

 

* * *

 

It took Dipper about another two weeks until he seemed to be himself again. But even then, Dipper still had these nostalgic looks on his face at odd times, and he still held onto the mirror shard everywhere  he went. Dipper stopped researching and making theories. That raised a red flag in everyone’s mind. Dipper still picked up the pen though… But it was for a totally different reason. He became a writer. He took his literature seriously. Everyone questioned him and why he would choose it. Dipper never answered. He didn’t need to explain what he was doing to anyone.

 

The first book that he published was a story book. It was called _The Other Side of the Universe_. It gained popularity quickly. It was a story about a faraway universe, with a boy who had adventures every day. It was a beautiful universe with steam machines, with smoke, oil, and shadows. It was a story about a universe where everything was dull and boring... everything but the boy. Dipper became famous with his story. He got interviews. People asked him questions. Why would he write such a story? Where did his inspiration come from?

 

Dipper always smiled gently and answered, “Oh, it came from someone I used to know.”

 

That was the exact answer he gave every time someone asked him. People made the assumption that Dipper was talking about a lover, but there was no lover when he dug up his history. Then people assumed Dipper was asexual, which was probably logical when one thought about it.

 

Dipper just laughed whenever he read an article about it. Strange enough, Dipper only went "gay" for Bill. He still found females attractive. He didn’t like males, though. No one interested him like his lover. He did try dating once or twice during college, with both genders, just to test and see if he could ever forget Bill. He couldn’t do it. Bill’s face always appeared in his mind. His quirks. His smiles. His eye. His warmth. No one could compare to Bill in Dipper’s mind.

 

Gradually, Dipper’s parents stopped pressuring him into finding a lover, because all their efforts were in vain. Dipper stayed single like that, until he reached 24, where he decided to adopt a child; a boy. He was named Dexter. A few years later, Dipper adopted another child, a girl this time. He named her Katrina. They were a family. Dipper was merely a single parent, but he did his job well. When looking at Dipper, no one could tell that he was unhappy. He seemed to have the perfect life.

 

But buried beneath it all lay an aching pain. A pain that no one but Dipper knew…

 

‘ _Bill… When would you come back? I have created our family… Only you are missing from the picture…_ ’

  

* * *

 

Dipper often took his little children out to the park on sunny Sunday, letting them enjoy the fresh air and making new friends. His children were sweethearts, and Dipper loved them so very much. They brought joy to his world.

 

“Daddy?” Little Katrina called and Dipper turned toward her, patting her head gently. “What is it, dear?” He asked, taking out a tissue and wiped Dexter’s lips from the smear of ice cream, making his son’s face scrunch up in annoyance. He didn’t like being fussed over.

 

“Daddy, can you tell me about Papa? Why don’t we have a Mommy? Everyone at school has a Mommy…” Katrina said, pouting cutely, her lips puckered out as she tried to show how much she didn’t like the situation. Who was Papa? Why was he never here? Why didn’t he take care of Daddy when he cried?

 

“Daddy… Tell us a story about Papa…” Dexter spoke up, tugging on Dipper’s red flannel shirt. Dipper looked at his children; both of them were wearing identical, expectant looks. Dipper laughed. “Alright, alright, I suppose I can tell you a story about Papa,” he said, and pulled little Katrina onto his lap, gently running a hand through her hair.

 

“Papa’s name is Bill. He lives in a beautiful world beyond the mirror. His world is very strange and beautiful. It has machines that run on steam. Monsters this big.” He raised his hands to show how big the monster was, earning a squeal from his girl. Dipper chuckled. “But the monsters are kinda friendly. It has pretty flowers, too. There’s this mushroom that can glow in the dark. And there’s this flower called Snow Flower.” He continued to say, slipping into the memory of his lover. The story had happened much too long ago, but it had never been forgotten.

 

“He lived in a very big castle. When he was young, like you two, he was very mischievous, too.  He would try to find a way to sneak out of the gate and pass all the guards to go play. There was this one time he discovered an injured bird. And he rescued it! Then you know what happened next?” Dipper asked, using his talent as a storyteller to tell the story to his kids. They both got excited as they leaned closer so they could listen to the story better.

 

Dipper told them about one of Bill’s adventures. In the children’s minds, Papa definitely existed. He just went somewhere far away and Daddy was waiting for him to come back to them. There had never been any doubts about Papa’s existence. After the story, Dexter punched both arms up the air. “WOAHHHH!!! Daddy! Daddy! Papa is so cool!” He said, admiring his Papa. He was so awesome!

 

Dipper chuckled and kissed Dexter’s forehead. “Oh yes he is. He is the coolest person that I know.” He said. He entertained his children a little bit more before he let them go play with the other children. He was happy. Dipper took out the mirror shard; the sharp edges had dulled over the years from how much Dipper had held it.

 

“Bill… Are you proud of our children?” He asked, gently stroking the mirror gently. Dipper still talked to Bill every day. He didn’t receive any replies, the cool mirror only stared back at him with harsh reality. Dipper never gave up though. He talked to Bill every day. He told him the story of his children. Of their children. He told them the day Dexter spoke his first word and the day that Katrina walked her first step.

 

“Dexter is going to grow up to be a mini you, you know. He likes adventures so much.” Dipper laughed softly. “He thinks of you like a big idol. If only he knew what a dork you are.” He said with a smile. “Katrina might be a little Mabel, though. She is too young.” He said. “I don’t know what you think, but I encourage our children to be who they are.” He said. A moment of silence passed and Dipper whispered, his voice dropped so low even if someone sat next to him they would have troubles making out the word.

 

“Bill… Talk to me… Please…” He said, his lips trembling for a moment. As usual, the only thing that heard his words was the mirror. No one replied. There was no light shining through the mirror.

 

A chill went down Dipper’s spine and he turned around to look. There was no one there. He covered his eyes when a gush of wind blew the leaves toward him.

 

“Bill?” He whispered, catching a leaf as it flew by, smiling gently. Definitely Bill. He was so playful all the time. Dipper laughed softly when the wind died down. Of course Bill would watch over their family. He was so silly to think that Bill would forget about them.

 

“I love you. Forever and always.”

 

_I love you, too._

 

* * *

 

Dipper also told his children bedtime stories. “Once upon a time, in a strange world of steam machines and odd creatures, of things from nightmares, lived a man. He owned a special mirror. This mirror connected two universes together. They were as old as the universes themselves.” Dipper said. Katrina beamed. “Ooh, we're gonna hear another story about Papa, right?!” She cheered, looking all excited.

 

Dipper chuckled. Not quite. This was the story that he wished would happened… But it never did. “One day, the man touched the mirror and Bam, his hand went through it. Curious, the man decided to step through the mirror. He arrived to a strange world that he had never seen before.” He told his daughter. “There, he met another man. And they became friends.” He said, gently petting Katrina’s hair. His daughter pouted for a moment before she spoke up.

 

“Daddy? Can I see Papa’s mirror?” She asked. Dipper froze briefly at the request before he nodded and took out the shard. “Be careful, dear. It can be quite sharp.” He explained, reluctant to let go of the precious thing. Katrina’s hands gripped the mirror shard firmly.

 

“Papa! Come home soon! Daddy misses you a lot and I don’t like seeing him cry!” She said loudly and Dipper’s heart was flooded with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify. “And Katrina misses you, too! And Dexter misses you, too! So come back with us! Stop going on adventures!” She said and Dipper’s voice was clogged up. He couldn’t speak for a full minute. He gently took the mirror shard away.

 

“Shh, that’s quite enough.” He said, finishing the bedtime story before he pressed a kiss to his daughter’s cheek. “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy will see you tomorrow.” He said, and waved to his daughter before walking out of the room. He ran a hand through his hair, looking distressed. He was still hurting each time Katrina called out for Bill.

 

“Did you tell them a story about Bill again?” A voice asked and Dipper turned around. Oh, right. Mabel. She came by for a visit. “Yeah, I did.” He said softly. “Did you overhear it?” He asked, sitting down. He needed booze.

 

“Nope. But your face is all the answer I need.” His twin said. “Be brave, bro bro. He wouldn’t want to make you sad.” She said and Dipper gave her a look.

 

“Since when do you talk about Bill so freely? Don’t you think it’s a fragment of my demented mind?” He asked, a tad harsher than he should have. And he regretted it. But Mabel merely pressed on.

 

“No. I know he’s real.” The answer shocked Dipper greatly and he forgot the need for wine for a moment.

 

“What changed your mind?” He asked.

 

“You.” She answered simply, shrugging. “I have seen the way you talk about him. I've watched you for a long while now. Your eyes are always filled with love, and they always shine. Plus, I see the way you hold onto that mirror shard. I doubt it’s a fragment of your imagination. It wouldn’t be able to produce that kind of strong emotion from you.” She said. “I may not see him. Or talk to him. But I believe he’s real.” She said, gently.

 

A genuine smile appeared on Dipper’s lips. “Thank you.” He said, sincerely, and gave his twin a brief hug. He slipped a hand in his pocket and gave the mirror a squeeze.

 

"See, Bill? Another person believed that you exist. You are real."

 

Dipper talked with Mabel for a while before he bid her good night. He went upstairs and to the big but lonely bedroom. It was a king size bed. The size was always too big for Dipper, but Dipper never bothered to change it. He wanted to reserve a place for Bill. Everything he owned was in pair. He had a pair of coffee mugs, a pair of wedding rings, a pair of everything. He just put them there so when Bill came, he would have something to use. Dipper even filled up his wardrobe with clothes that Bill would enjoy. The fancy suits, The bow ties, etc

 

“Well, tonight has been tiring.” Dipper said to the mirror shard. “If you hear Katrina, don’t mind her. She’s just a child. She is impatient. I can wait.” He said, planting a kiss to the mirror. “I love you very much, Bill. Don’t worry about me. I will wait for you.” He said, placing the shard on the nightstand next to him. Dipper went to sleep, and imagined Bill sleeping next to him.

 

* * *

 

The years of childhood passed in peace, and the kids began to grow. That meant they began to have more questions… Questions that Dipper would rather not answer. “Dad… Papa doesn’t exist, does he?” Dexter asked one day as he dropped his schoolbag on the empty chair that was supposed to be Bill’s place. Dipper frowned.

 

“What are you talking about, Dex? He’s very much real.” Dipper said and Dexter frowned angrily, looking betrayed.

 

“You lied to us! He doesn’t exist! I looked it up! I looked up your story. You were never married and you didn’t know any Bill Cipher!” He said, pointing to Dipper’s face. “You were just lying to us so that we believe we have two parents. Guess what, I'm grown-up now! I know the truth! You didn’t ever marry! You big liar!” Dexter said angrily, all the hurt from the lies exploded. The teenager growled and ran upstairs. “I’m not eating dinner with a liar!"

 

Dipper froze with shock. His daughter just stared at him. “Dad… Is what Dexter said... true?” she asked softly; her voice was calm, but there was undeniable hurt there. Dipper felt his chest squeeze. So this was when they started not to believe in his words anymore.

 

The silence confirmed what Katrina needed to know and she stood up silently. “I don’t feel too hungry either… I think I will go up to my room now…” She said, and left. Dipper watched as his child’s back was turned against him. His eyes stung with tears.

 

“Bill…” Dipper whispered. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” He said softly, gripping the mirror shard in his hand. “B-Bill… Show up… Show up so that they can see you…” He said, his shoulders trembling. Bill was real… He was… How could their own children not believe that? How? He held the mirror shard to his chest, his heart aching badly. “Bill, give me strength…” He whispered, swallowing thickly. He wanted to believe that this was just a phase… But he knew better than that… Dipper looked at the mirror. “What would you do if you were me, Bill? Would you… Would you convince that I’m real? Or would you let them grow up not believing in me?” He asked. A tear fell on the mirror shard.

 

“Help me, Bill… I’m _so_... lonely.” He whispered.

 

He wanted Bill here so badly…

 

* * *

 

The children grew up, and they grew distanced from Dipper. They moved away. Dipper lived alone in a big house, with only a mirror to talk to. Mabel dropped by from time to time, but she had her own family to take care of. He was alone most of the time, and that was a horrible feeling.

 

Dipper was currently sitting on the couch, rubbing his knees. He was growing older… His knees hurt. His back hurt. He wished his children were here so that he could have someone to talk to. Talking to a mirror could only get him so far. Dipper gently rearranged the vase of Forget-Me-Not flowers, smiling gently as his hand brushed across a flower. True love. Memories. Faithfulness. This was the flower that described their love story.

 

“Hey, Bill… Our children are all grown-up now… I miss them a lot. Maybe I can visit them tomorrow. They won’t want me there a lot though… ‘cause I bring you with me everywhere, I guess. But I’m not about to leave you home alone.” He said, looking across the empty seat. He gently stroked the smooth surface of the cool mirror. “I wonder what you would do if you were here. Would you make breakfast and coffee for me?” He asked. “And rub my knees when they hurt?” He said.

 

Dipper laughed. “You would be an old man by now, I guess. Maybe I would be the one who had to do all this for your old ass.” He said, ending the laugh with a soft cough. “Our children are all grown up now. No need for two old men anymore, hmm..?” He asked. “You know, I would love to have you here so we can read newspapers together. I always imagine you wearing glasses when you get older.” He said, sighing softly.

 

He looked at the cold mirror. “Talk to me, Bill. You used to be so talkative. If you were more active, I probably wouldn’t have to visit my children’s homes out of loneliness. Maybe we could even have gross old man sex.” He smiled sadly. “Do you find me sad?” He asked. “Talking to a mirror and imagining that I’m talking to you?” He whispered. “Talk to me, Bill. If you talk to me, then I will stay home. Our children probably don’t want to be bothered by this old wrinkle anyway.” He said.

 

The mirror shard remained cruelly cold. 

 

* * *

 

 

Dipper was on his dead bed. He let out weak puffs of air, knowing that his time had come. He was leaving this world… Oh, well; at least his children and their children were here. Mabel... wasn’t here any more, but he would meet her soon. He gently cupped his son’s cheek, seeking a bit of warmth. “Dexter, my son, I have told you many times before… When I die, I want to be buried with my mirror…” He said, earning a choked sob from Katrina and a scowl from Dexter. “You aren’t dying. And I’m not going to bury you with your damn mirror, so live, dammit.” He said. Dipper smiled.

 

Oh, he was so much like Bill, always trying to hide his emotions. Dipper’s hand dropped, and he turned to his crying daughter. “Katrina… I know you will be an amazing mother.” He said, placing a hand on her stomach. “You already are an amazing mother.” He smiled, sending a look to his small grandchildren. “Children, please don’t be too sad… I have lived a fulfilling life… I couldn’t meet your father in the end, but... I have you here by my side.” He said, his eyes closing briefly before they opened again.

 

“If your father ever comes here, tell him I’m sorry, but I can’t wait for him any longer.” He said, his hand dropped to his side. Dexter had to suppress a frown. Even when he was dying, his father still remembered his damned imaginary other father. “Jeez. Alright, alright.” Dexter said. “Rest, old man. But don’t you dare die.” He said.

 

Dipper just smiled. “Yeah, I think I will take a nap now… I’m really tired…” He said. He vaguely heard Katrina’s cry of "No, Dad, don’t leave me, I don’t know what to do without you!" but his eyes were already nearly shut.

 

“Hey.”

 

He heard an unfamiliar voice, and Dipper looked at the figure standing near the entrance door. Oh. Bill was here to take him already. Dipper smiled. Bill still looked the same. Like he hadn’t aged a day. Still young. Still beautiful. Still the charming soul that made Dipper’s heart flutter with love. “Are you here to take me away?” Dipper found himself asking.

 

Bill smiled. “Yes.” He said and Dipper believed him.

 

Dipper’s eyes snapped shut, and he took his last breath. His soul left his body, leaving behind a saddened family and a full life.

 

He walked toward Bill; with each step, his soul took a younger and younger form until he was the youthful teenager he had once been. Bill smiled at him. “I see that you have taken care of our family really well.” He said. Dipper blushed.

 

“Ha, well someone has to do that, since you wouldn’t.” He said.

 

Bill extended his hand.

 

“Will you be my friend?”

 

Dipper wasn’t hesitant to answer. “Yes.”

 

“Will you be my lover?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will you take my hand?”

 

A pause. Dipper turned around to look at his sobbing children as they tried to wake him up. He turned back to look at Bill, and reached out to take his hand.

 

_“Yes.”_

Together, the pair walked toward the beautiful blinding light, ending a beautiful, eternal love.

 

_Death made them part before. May it never do them part again._

 

* * *

 

 Proofreading by [TheHylianBatman](http://thehylianbatman.tumblr.com/)

 Author: [Chiaki Hamano](http://chiakihamano95.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Who cried at the end?


	4. Missing scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A collection of missing scenes that never make it to the story.

_Learning sign language_

Dipper was excited to show Bill what he had just discovered today. Sign language! He knew that they still had plenty of troubles communicating with each other so he thought that another language, one that didn’t require them to look so closely at each other’s mouth might help a lot! After all, there were a lot of words that could pronounce the same. He was so excited to show Bill about it that after dinner, Dipper had disappeared to his room and grabbed the book on sign language.

 

Bill, like usual, was waiting for him by the mirror. Dipper sat down, crossed legs. He waved his hand frantically to his friend, earning himself a blinding smile from Bill. “Hi.” Dipper said in excitement and poked at the book frantically. “Look what I found!” He said, beaming when Bill tilted his head to one side, gesturing toward the book questioningly.

 

Dipper opened the book and hastily turned the pages to look for what he needed. He began to sign, his fingers clumsy and his face scrunched up in concentration.

 

“H…e…l…l…o”

 

Dipper signed and mouthed his words. Bill repeated the word and looked at Dipper again. The excited boy just nodded and repeated his hand gesture and the word. This time, Bill caught what he meant and he began attempting to repeat the sign himself. This was actually kind of fun!

 

It must have been hours of practicing when Bill felt slightly comfortable signing ‘Hello’. They didn’t make a whole lot of progress that night and Dipper actually forgot to do his homework. The poor boy in question was frantically scrawling across the pages right now, trying to make up for lost time. Bill smiled indulgingly, sprawling on the floor in front of the mirror, watching Dipper work. They might not know a lot of signed words and they were both beginners at this but Bill had full confidence in Dipper’s ability and his own intelligence to master this language. Then they could have a whole new way of communicating with each other!

 

* * *

 

 

_The talk_

 

It was an embarrassing topic, Dipper reflected as his cheeks heated up and his hands clumsily held the condoms that his father had given him. The talk had been so awkward for both Dipper and his father that they had hastily made it through the torment. Dipper knew that his father had tried really hard to make it so that he had all the information that he needed but truthfully… Dipper was a teenager, he was curious. And curiosity had led to a lot of problems. Namely, pornography. It was more of a mistake than anything and when Dipper opened the gay porn, he had panicked and shut his laptop but not before he discovered what went through which hole…

 

Needless to say, he was traumatized. And when he had tried to talk to Bill about it, they were both awkward because Bill himself knew about it, just not in details… It was definitely the second most embarrassing moment Dipper had ever had. The first one being the actual talk with his dad. In a moment of boldness, Bill had even asked Dipper to demonstrate what he had learnt… Which led to an even more embarrassing moment of Dipper trying (And failing) to put the condom on a frigging banana. Bill even had the gut to laugh at him when he struggled with it.

 

Still… Dipper had to admit, it could have gone much worse. He curled into himself as he remembered the way Bill’s eyes lit up when he laughed and although Dipper couldn’t hear his voice, he knew that the laughter had been warm and full of life. Dipper smiled at the thought. Yeah, well, it could have gone a lot worse indeed.

 

Who drew on the mirror?

 

Mabel had noticed the way Dipper obsessively sat near the mirror and how he got restless if he went too long without being in his room. While she knew that there might be other reasons (And no, that was a whole can of worms she did not want to know) the main reason was probably because of that weird mirror. It was nothing extraordinary. She had checked before. She had checked it a few times actually but each time she did, she was left with disappointment bitter like ash on her tongue.

 

So today, with a bright heart and a bright smile, Mabel decided that she should do something nice for Dipper. So here she was, re-decorating the ugly mirror. She brought all sort of crayons and markers and stuff. Not permanent markers of course, what if she wanted to re-decorate it later? But it was marker nonetheless. She drew and colored the mirror. When it was done, the mirror looked a lot more lively than before. She was so proud!

 

That night, Dipper had not been so happy seeing the mirror. It was probably the first time he had looked at her with such hurt in his eyes and he had even pushed her. His own sister! And when she lingered at the door, attempting to apologize, she heard him shout to the mirror.

 

That, she admitted, had freaked her out a little bit. Being obsessed with the mirror was one thing, but thinking of it like a sentimental object was an entirely different thing. She wondered if she should tell her parents. Some instinct told her it was a really bad idea. However, she knew that if Dipper had mental illnesses from the stress at school, it would be best if he got treated as soon as possible. She was a concerned sister after all. He would understand, right?

 

It became apparent to her that something must have happened. Even when the mirror was clean, and spotless, Dipper’s mood didn’t improve and he just sulked. He even spent less time with the mirror like he was mad at it or something which was ridiculous because how could someone be mad at a mirror? But yeah, Mabel had a pretty strong girl instinct and she had watched enough tv show to realize that Dipper went through something like… a lover argument? It couldn’t be right, could it?

 

Before Mabel could contemplate for too long, Dipper’s sulking disappeared completely and he became a much brighter person again… and infuriatingly, he was back to spending time with that mirror. It must be a cursed mirror, Mabel realized at this point. Ever since Dipper was young, he had already had an unhealthy obsession with it. The obsession just grew and grew with time and at some point, she suspected he would go down with it.

 

With a heavy heart and heavier guilt, Mabel decided that she needed to tell her parents. Walking toward her father, Mabel took the hem of his shirt with a gentle tug. “Can I talk to you for a bit?” Mabel asked, her voice was far too soft and foreign. She didn’t sound like herself at all. “What’s wrong, Mabel?” Her father asked, his voice filled with warmth and concern.

 

“It’s… it’s about Dipper. I’m worried.” Mabel admitted, unable to look into her father’s eyes as she confessed.

 

* * *

 

_The journal:_

 

Dipper had never had a lot of friends. Before he set his eyes on Bill, his only crush was Wendy, a much older girl than he was. No one really liked the weird kid like him. Even the weird kids didn’t like him. He only held himself too tightly. He was always too scrawny, or too weak, or weird… He wasn’t deaf. He heard what people said behind his back, how he drew mirrors and triangles on the edge of his papers. How weird he was for believing that monsters were real…

 

He didn’t mind those whispers too much. It hurt, of course it hurt, but what could he do? He couldn’t stop people from hating and he certainly couldn’t stop them from believing what they thought was right. If they didn’t believe there were monsters, well, maybe one day the monster would visit them. Dipper would be ready if they ever paid him a visit. However, what he couldn’t stand was the fact that people absolutely laughed at him when he tried to explain that there were multiple universes out there and maybe they were connected. Yeah apparently, people didn’t like new ideas.

 

It didn’t matter though. Dipper had the journal and Bill as his friends and that should be enough. He wrote into the journal his thoughts and feelings and his theories, he told Bill about his dreams and how he imagined monsters to be. He drew them in his journal. And Bill listened. He really listened to what Dipper had to say no matter how silly it was. It made Dipper’s heart flutter way too much. Yeah, he didn’t have any friends. But who needed friends like those when he had a real friend at home and a journal he trusted?

 

Being bullied was also a normal occurrence for Dipper. He was no stranger to being pushed around and taunted… However, today took the cake. Some jerks had cornered Dipper and Dipper, like always, had tried to escape without success. Together, the jerks had snatched Dipper’s school bag, spilling everything on the floor, including the journal. And oh, the jerks hadn’t left Dipper alone after that. They had to go and taunt him about having a ‘diary’ like a girl. And when they opened it, Dipper could see the instance their eyes shifted from taunting to disturbed and back to taunting again. And they called him crazy and delusional and mentally retarded. It was frustrating. Dipper tried to fight back, of course. His journal was everything he held dear. He tried to snatch it back. And god, the horrible tear sound that came when the bully and the bullied played tug-o-war with the journal would be something Dipper would never forget…

 

With the journal gone and Dipper felt just a bit more broken than before, the young boy gathered himself and wiped his teary eyes. Bill. Bill would make everything better just by being there. He wanted to go home to talk to him…

**Author's Note:**

> And I kill the child... I'm sorry. For not being sorry.
> 
> You can maim me.


End file.
